Learning to Resist with Ravish Kumar
“Agar aap ek bhi darshak hain toh aap zero nahi hain!”
Ravish Kumar perhaps did not know at the time that his words could refer and speak directly with the audience of the documentary film on his journalism titled ‘While We Watched’. For a film that is not finding offers for commercial release in India , I am surely a lucky darshak as I have seen it twice. I first got the opportunity to see the film during the MAMI Mumbai Film Festival 2023. The screening was followed by an interaction with the director Vinay Shukla and Ravish ji himself. The experience I had was surreal and I desperately wanted to share this with my friends and family. In another miracle of sorts, I was able to contact the filmmakers and get permission to host a private screening this year on my 30th birthday.
This time around it was my second watch and there are moments of this film that lingered on me for much longer, waiting to be chewed on, like a dog on a bone. So that I can make the most meaning out of it. Why do I need it anyway? Maybe it is just the ‘citizen’ in me. When the environment around us is so numbing, we end up looking for courage and hope. Or it could be ‘psychotherapist’ part of me - wanting to understand how to take care of our subversive anxieties and channel them into resistance. Perhaps it is the ‘cinephile’ too who just wants to talk about the scenes and themes that incredibly moved me. I found all of these and much more in this film which serves us Ravish ji’s slice of life. There are so many lessons in resistance throughout the film, but there are some that really stood out for me.
Before the movie started. Photographed by Vaishnavi.
Engage with whatever you have
In a scene, we see Ravish ji speaking with a troll on the phone where he is asking the right questions to the other person but there is not even an inch of an opening in the conversation. He resorts to singing ‘Saare Jahan se Accha’. Remember the song we heard and sang as school kids? ‘Mazhab nahi sikhata, aapas mein bair rakhna’. I reckon this is where my feeling of institution betrayal starts. What went in our source code as young children was a different set of values and yet here we are - being completely dissonant and struggling to find scraps of our morals in our own country.
Ravish ji surely has talent to counter the dominant narrative and he demonstrates that with the utmost suave. I learnt from this that with suave or not, engaging is the more important act. Engage with the people who present the dominant narrative and find your own ways to bring them to the middle ground where they are open for the conversation.
…But have hard boundaries around shame
There is another incident where people start to chant ‘Anti-National’ where he is perhaps the chief guest at a Raahagiri event in Delhi. He walks away from there without confronting. Being shamed for our being ourselves can impact us deeply. Shame really is a tool that resists a rebellion and so we find many people using it against us and our humanity. It is absolutely okay and it is our right to bring up a hard boundary and disengage with shame. Walking away from it is not cowardice, it is a source of self-preservation and continuing our resistance.
Surround yourself with allies
Ravish ji’s partner Nayana is his anchor amidst the storm and we need to find ours. Things, people or places that can be a quiet reminder of who we are and what we need to do in order to be authentic. When the boundaries get blurry, it is Nayana ji who gently requests to disengage with the troll calls made to Ravish ji. His work colleagues and his tribe also look at the world in the same way as he does. We see his ethic and gratitude as he gives credit to his team wherever due. It makes a lot of sense why losing his tribe affects him in the film. We all need to rely on the camaraderie, connection and solidarity from our people that restores our identity and protects us. We do not need to walk alone, we cannot.
…But never be afraid to look at the truth
This lesson is inspired from the scene where he is announcing the election results of 2019. Do we remember where we were when that happened by the way? I do, I can never forget it. I was in a college where I was the campus counsellor. No students were interested in counselling and thank god for that. Because I was crying myself. I felt very helpless and thrown in a deeper pit. I called up my father and he just heard me rant and cry even more.
When Ravish ji announced the results, I saw how he did it in a dignified manner. I can imagine losing it or having a meltdown because it can be so emotionally devastating to look at the truth. But it is what it is. Sometimes we make allies and live inside our echo chambers but we need to have a channel with the real world. To sit with reality and just stay with its horrors and sorrow.
Embrace the glimmers with your whole heart
The universe has its ways of rewarding. It can be big moments - well Ravish ji had a literal reward, the Ramon Magsaysay Award. There are also some significant moments - when journalist Saurabh Shukla decides to stay on, that is a big glimmer for us. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers you know. Moments when it is all okay and we experience joy. Another glimmer for me was the subtle yet profound moment when Ravish ji’s daughter talks about singing. She says something on the lines of ‘har din practise karo, jab tak tumhein thik se nahi aata, tabhi tumhari awaaz strong banegi’. I found myself hugging that moment in the film. A lot of us think we cannot use our voice but it is only like a muscle that we need to build with a lot of practice.
…But perhaps resistance is being hopeless most of the time
Nearly half of the movie is Ravish ji’s face and his face is always grim, always tense. One would say even sad or dejected. I wondered what he would be thinking. In such a movie, should not there be a way to show how one finds their ground? How do they hold on to their belief systems? If I were to take a guess, I think in all the moments where he was quiet, perhaps he was slowly collecting himself and recalibrating back to his source code, his morals and values. So maybe much of resistance-in-real-life actually looks like a sad and quiet contemplation. Perhaps that means that resistance is our moral values with its workboots on.
Seek tenderness
A friend of mine shared that she wants to watch the film but is also afraid it would hurt too much. I found myself telling her that I get it and it is true. The movie will be intense, as is real life, but it will also give you ways to hold yourself. It does also contain your feelings at the same time. “The opposite of survival is play”. All the times we see his playing with his daughter evoke some relief and comfort - for him and the audience. It seems like we are all drawing more tenderness in order to sustain amidst ongoing trauma.
…And it is okay to say you want to quit - everyday
In many scenes when Ravish ji is driving home from work, when the day has ended, he is found to be talking about quitting. That he feels like quitting, giving up. But he doesn't really. I related a lot to that. Whenever I face a pressing conflict, I feel like giving it all up altogether. Maybe it is important to have that choice and know our exit plan. But isn’t it possible that the very idea of quitting paradoxically saves us as well? I think it did save me.
While we were watching. Photographed by Vaishnavi.
At the end of the screening I hosted, I asked my partner what his favourite moment was. He said it was when the end credits were rolling and there was a clear discomfort in the air but also discomfort that we were in together; a shared experience with a sense of solidarity. I would like to thank the team behind this movie for crafting this intense, stirring and important experience.
Last thoughts: honestly, I think the movie should be renamed ‘While We Are Watching’. The past tense in Watched makes you feel it is an archival movie and it is done. But the systemic and structural forces that threaten our democracy are real, running right now in real time. We must imbibe these lessons and have important conversations.
This piece would have been difficult to write without my friends in solidarity: Husaina, Ahla, Bhawana and Neti. Thank you for sharing your insightful edits as well as encouraging company.
